Today is the day that it happened...

Here we are. Damn. Today was the first day with NO cigarettes. As of the moment that I'm writing this post, I have now gone without a smoke for over 24 hours. There are things that I've loved MORE than today... but this has been a pretty amazing day, actually.

I was going to continue the beginning of my history, but will bring that up another time.

Today I want to talk about how sucky quitting is. Mostly just to get it out there. The biggest surprise to me whenever I have tried to quit, is even though I've talked about how hard it's been in the past, it's weird the things that you're able to convince yourself of.

For instance - This evening I have had the thought, about 400 times, that I will just stay up late tomorrow night (after everyone goes to sleep) and then I will sneak out and buy a pack of smokes. Yep. I've been seriously thinking this. SERIOUSLY. I don't think I'm going to, but I've pretty much got it all planned out.

At those moments when I'm not feeling the EXTREME need to go outside and have a smoke, I've thought briefly of other things.

Like - Reasons to Quit:

• Tired of the recurring pre-stage smoker's cough
• So that Forrest won't get sick from it
• So that Forrest won't get ashtma because of it
• So that I don't have to wash myself for 30 minutes each time that I want to hold my son or kiss my wife.

Two days ago, I think I could have made a great list, longer and more thought out. Right now, I can't hardly think about the good things about NOT smoking... I'm just thinking that I should just go out and smoke.

To be continued.