Today I had to go in to work, to try to clean up my office and get some things done so that I could enjoy the rest of my weekend. I realized something as I left the office (almost 8 hours later)… I didn’t think about needing a cigarette or needing a break the entire time! I was awfully sad that it was dark and cold when I arrived at work, and the sun already descending with warmer air as I’m LEAVING.
Something that’s going to be weird next year, not smoking in public during football season. Most of the past 11 seasons, at least when I’ve been out at a bar or restaurant, I’ve enjoyed a delicious cigarette, or ten, or twenty, (or more) during the game. Does that sound strange?
I’m sure that there are going to be hundreds of little things that are going to be different. And I’m good with that. But I’m not looking forward to those moments when I realize that is what’s going on. When I realize that the reason I’m tensing up is because I’m longing for a few drags of smokey-funtimes (not a word, but wouldn’t it be fun if that’s the way that companies advertised? What if they advertised complex medical procedures in those terms? Come and get your superfun happytime colonoscopy. Have you had your partytime-prostate giggle-ums exam yet?) I digress…
So, now having returned home from work, I’m happy to say that this is the 9th day smoke free. My son hasn’t had to endure my smoke-riddled clothing and stinky hands and face. My wife has been able to (generally) kiss me without having me brush my teeth multiple times and use additional mouthwash. And I’ve been more productive at work, I think.
Speaking of work – this has been an interesting time for me to try to quit smoking, professionally speaking. My job has been somewhat stressful for most of the past 6 years… but this year in particular has brought about a new kind of stress that I hadn’t had before. Whether it’s been simply being overwhelmed, dealing with major budgeting issues, or not having too many hours per day to do everything that folks need… even the good stress is simply stress that has to be dealt with, on some level.
I think this is a pretty common thing for people who are trying to quit. It’s a stress-reliever for many of us… (or, to be honest, the thought of quitting is simply so stressful sometimes that we would rather just not have to face that stress). So, we don’t. We continue to take our smoking breaks and use that time to smoke and vent. I agree with many of my non-smoking friends – it’s not fair if you work someplace where the only way you can take a break is if you are a smoker. You should be able to take a break. Legally, as a matter of fact, you definitely ARE able to take a break… consider it.
I’m getting a bit long in the tooth today. But what a good day. Enjoy Martin Luther King, Jr. day tomorrow!
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