Here I am for the third night in a row. Again up later than I was planning, but today it probably makes sense since I took two long naps in between meals. That's what's great about the holidays, right? You eat kind of guilt-free and don't worry about the fact that you're going to be paying for it next week... that explains part of my problem, huh? I always like this one - "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump" - Eric Cartman (from the South Park Christmas special)
Something I'm not going to miss when I've quit - going outside in weather like today. It's absolutely freezing out, there is snow and ice being blown EVERYWHERE, getting in EVERYTHING, and it just keeps coming. I went out shortly after we got home and by the time I got inside I was completely covered with ice that then immediately melted into my jacket.
Today was a pretty great day, and I only had 5 cigarettes, which is quite a bit better than yesterday. Lots of good time with family, and like I said earlier lots of naps and sleeping, made for a good time and didn't let me think much about going out for a smoke... which was nice.
Tomorrow we're going to Jen's folks for Christmas day, and we'll likely spend the whole day out there. No real awnings around the house, so I won't be able to go out without getting all wet and cold again, which is another incentive to quit.
For today I just thought I would talk about the holiday, and share my experience. Even though there is always some stress for me around the holidays, specifically around spending extended periods of time with large groups (even if they are family)... so I usually think about smoking a LOT because I decided at some point that it was a good way for me to get away for a moment and compose myself from time to time. (I don't get upset, just anxious sometimes)
Things have been pretty different since Forrest was born. I've realized how important time is with our family, and just how much we SHOULD be relying on each other. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on 2 things:
1) our perception of time (is it really linear?), and
2) our society has become very isolated - we connect, but in completely different ways that those before us. I do believe "it takes a village", and I've really enjoyed getting to see and learn from my relatives during this process.
We'll see what happens, and I'll be pushing further into these reflections on those days when I don't spend too much time thinking about cigarettes... or maybe when all I can do is think about them.
Have a happy holiday!
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